Learning to Love Losing

Sometimes we lose.

The French Open wrapped up about a month ago, and Novak Djokovic, reigning World No. 1 in men's tennis, took second in the championship match to Swiss player Stan Wawrinka. I've always hated losing, but I can't imagine how much worse it must be to lose so publicly, to have the entire world know you weren't good enough, that someone was better than you.                                            
Losing is something I have always struggled with, especially when playing competitive sports. I played tennis throughout middle and high school. It was my sport. It was so fulfilling to ace my serve or hit a beautiful groundstroke. I loved the smell of new tennis ball and the sound and feel of a steady rally.

The one thing I couldn't stand was losing. If a match wasn't going my way, I became a self-destructive bomb waiting to go off. I critiqued myself harshly over every missed point, sabotaging any comebacks I might have had with a different mindset.

I despised losing so much, I began to convince myself that the competition itself didn't matter. I thought it was better to have no expectations or desires whatsoever. It was better to go into any situation (not just a tennis match) with the mindset that I didn't want to be good or 'win' that badly anyways. This attitude permeated everything: job interviews, test scores, even my relationships with family and friends. 

What's worse is that even when things did work out, I didn't allow myself to feel excited, relieved, joyful, you name it. I became a platonic, apathetic being drifting through life, not allowing myself to feel any positive emotions for fear of the negative ones. 

The good comes with the bad. That's simply how the world works. Trial and error is how the greats become the greats. It's how Djokovic is World No. 1. He could never have climbed so high if he didn't lose and learn from losing first.

It's like the parable of the talents. The servant who hid his talent was too afraid to use it for fear of losing it. The master rewarded the servants who grew their talents, who'd more than likely taken risks and experienced setbacks, but who ultimately learned from their mistakes and became better. I've learned you have to give a little to become more. We can choose to let losing scare us, or we can pick ourselves up, learn from failures and try again. 

Failures don't define us. How we choose to react to failure is how we choose to define ourselves. And not putting ourselves out there, staying where it's 'safe,' limits and cripples our potential.  
                 
Djokovic chose to leave the French Open defeat on the court in Paris. He chose to travel to England to compete in Wimbledon, where he won the men's championship at last weekend, playing the great Roger Federer. Pretty sure his defeat at the French was the furthest thing from his mind during those last few points.                                                                                                    

Give Thanks

I haven't posted in.....a long time, so I'm going to include pictures of my Halloween and Thanksgiving while I talk about Christmas. 

So, it's the most wonderful time of the year! And congrats! You've made it through Halloween and the nearly unbearable, here-let-me-give-you-three-days-of-relaxation-then-throw-you-back-to-the-dogs Thanksgiving break. Now you just have to do really well on those final projects and tests. Just two of the most important weeks in the semester to go! You got this.  

Uh huh. At this point in the semester, I'm usually plodding along through my classes and projects and study goals with my eyes focused on the day that I get to pack up, drive home, and be DONE with college (at least for a couple weeks).

Procrastination becomes my best friend this time of year. Exhibit A: this blog post.  I should be working on that final story for Comms 321 or compiling photos for my VAPHO 116 slideshow, but instead, it just makes more sense to be typing this post.  

Costume idea courtesy of Lauren Conrad

I was Mary Poppins for Halloween. Had a blast with my roommates and friends.

Okay. I was lucky enough to get through September, October, and November without getting sick even once.

Then spent four days with my family over Thanksgiving break, sequestered in one location with my dear, sick little brother, whom I love. By the end of that week, both my mother and sister were sniffling and complaining of sore throats and coughs.

I was fine, though. Scotch.Tape. So dang clear of anything.

I honestly didn't even think about the potential for getting sick.  In my brain, the world was fine and sickness wasn't even a real word, let alone an actual state of being.

Monday came, and with it, school, and work, and the gym! I had a great day--got lots of stuff done at work, was on top of classes, went the extra mile at the gym.  Literally, haha.

Woke up Tuesday morning feeling like the world was coming to an end.                                                                                                                              

Met some Alpaca over Thanksgiving

Long story short, I've spent the last few days continuing to feel as if the world is coming to an end, and I've come to one conclusion: someone really needs to figure out a way to eradicate the cold. 

Kidding! My one, real conclusion is this: I have many things to be thankful for.

Waking up every morning, feeling slightly better with each day that goes by, has helped me appreciate all that I have. I don't have to be sick like this every day like those that are battling cancer and other serious illnesses do. And from that realization spreads a gratitude for everything else in my life.  Family, friends, a job, school, technology, pillows, music, showers, lotion. Medication.You get the idea. I've even become somewhat grateful for this cold because of what it's helped me recognize and appreciate in my life.  

I know everything I have has been given to me by a loving Father in Heaven. I don't deserve what I have, but I can be thankful and recognize His hand in my life.

So let's give thanks for all that we do have, the good and the not so good. Look on the bright side in whatever you're faced with, find ways to serve and love others, and remember that this Christmas season is about our Savior Jesus Christ and the gift he gave all of us. 

XO.

Lauren

 

Introductions

This is me

I'm kind of new to this.  And, as you can tell from my blog's name, I don't really know what I'm doing.  Introductions are always a good place to start, right?  Okay. Hi, I'm Lauren, and a few weeks ago, I started my junior year of college.  

The purpose of a blog is to share.  Share new experiences, funny stories, inspiring moments, and all that jazz.  Right now, my newest experience is Junior year.  It's only been four weeks, but college has a way of blurring the days and simultaneously flicking through them like clicking through television channels.  They go by quickly.  I can't even remember what I was doing yesterday because I'm so focused on what's happening today and what I need to do tomorrow. 

Anyway, it's a new semester, a new job, new classes, new friends to make.  Lots of newness.  

I'm a daughter, an older sister, a roommate, and a girl who's just trying to figure life out.  I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I love the gospel of Jesus Christ and its message of truth, healing, and joy.  I am addicted to tennis and adore the piano (both playing and listening).  Books are the best things in the world.  Photography is fun.  I hate running but do it anyway because it's "healthy."  Fruit desserts are the best and seafood is glorious.  So is pasta.  I can sort of paint and draw.  

Sometimes I can feel lost or confused about the direction my life is going. Sometimes I feel more like I'm floating along through life without actively making decisions or pursuing my dreams. But, at the end of the day, I know exactly what I'm doing and where my life is headed.  I have lots of clues about my purpose, my goals, my dreams, and my future (it's called the gospel of Jesus Christ), and the realizations keep on coming.  As I take life on one day at a time, I want to share those realizations with as many people as I can.

XO

Lauren